How do you view Forgiveness?

May 26th, 2013 by Lauren Carbis


We all need it at times, but it is so hard to give. Forgiveness. We have all been hurt – whether intentionally or not – and we have a tendency to want restitution, to make someone pay, to have them hurt like they hurt us.

In order to try and force this reckoning to come about, we hold on to our emotions, our anger, our bitterness and vow never to forgive the person for the offence. However, that is the worst thing you can do as it only affects you – not them – and will take your life down a path you never intended to go.

Why is it so hard to forgive someone who has hurt us? Many times, it’s because we are not aware of the ramifications of holding on to this type of pain. Many also have the wrong understanding of what it means to forgive.

To clear things up, here are some points to remember:

  1. Forgiving someone does not mean we have granted them permission to do what they have done. Forgiveness is not approval or condoning the offense.
  2. Forgiveness is not about the other person. It is about you and the ability to let go of the past, so you can move on to the future you deserve.
  3. Withholding forgiveness from someone allows that person to contribute to a festering disease within your being. It leads to bitterness, walls being built, anger, and a lack of fulfillment in life. Withholding forgiveness in no way affects the other person as they have moved on – but it affects you most of all.
  4. Withholding forgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that someone else gets ill. It doesn’t happen that way as it will only make you feel sick inside.
  5. “Forgive and forget” is a misnomer. Unless we have medically induced amnesia, we do not forget what happened, but we can learn from it without carrying the pain. Like a scar, we can see it and remember the incident without holding on to the pain that came with the injury.
  6. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength in that we have the power to forgive and move on.

Oprah interviewed Bishop TD Jakes about his new book Let It Go – Forgive So You Can Be Forgiven. Take a moment to watch this short 3 minute video on his insightful views of forgiveness.

Here at Lifescape Image, our goal is to help you discover your best life. If you are holding on to unforgiveness of any kind, it will be much harder for you to break through the barriers that hold you back, which prevent you from being able to experience the fulfillment in life you deserve.

In his book, TD Jakes explains, “Forgiveness is a big idea and works best when invested into people who have the courage to grasp the seven-foot idea of what’s best for their future rather than the four-foot-high idea of recompense for what has happened in the past.” Who do you need to forgive today so you can have a better life for tomorrow?